More often than not, the reader who is looking at these pages with more than just a casual interest is the parent of a teenage son or daughter who has just laid on them a pretty heavy statement to the effect of “this body is not who I am.”

Every single resource we have covered in this brief overview recognizes that when an event like this occurs, the beginning note to sound as a parent is acceptance in love. Affirming your love is not an agreement with your teen’s interpretation of things. The apostle Paul tells us that we grow in maturity as we speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). We must remember that truth without love is not very truthful. At the same time, it is not at all loving to withhold the truth from someone.

Having properly prioritized the relationship, the next thing that has to be discovered is what is going on beneath a statement like “this body is not who I am”.

Dr. Andreades, in his book Across the Kitchen Table, has categorized those who claim to be suffering from gender dysphoria. He asks us to picture these as five different boxes. This classification is arbitrary, and some young people may fall into more than one category or pass from one category to the other as more is discovered about the nature of the dysphoria. Each of the areas gets a full treatment in his book; here we focus only on a general description.

The first box centers around a desire or craving to fit in. It is also referred to as rapid onset gender dysphoria (ROGD). Dr. Andreades sees the need to be cool with one’s companions like the force and power behind ROGD. Not easy for a parent to go through, but a process called “watchful waiting,” when coupled with the love referred to earlier, can more often than not be very fruitful. “Watchful waiting” can be defined as follows: “Seeking to patiently understand the feelings of those who suffer from gender dysphoria while helping them become more comfortable with their biological sex.”^[1]

The following two citations can be very helpful to parents that are going through the process of “watchful waiting” with a teen. The American College of Pediatricians writes: “According to the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition) as many as 98% of gender confused boys and 88% of gender confused girls eventually accept their biological sex after naturally passing through puberty.”^[2] Abigail Shrier in her book Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters notes: “Studies indicate that most kids – roughly 70 percent – who experience childhood gender dysphoria and are not socially transitioned outgrow it.”^[3] Social transitioning refers to a process of adopting aspects of a gender transition, like cross-dressing or changing names and pronouns, but does not involve medical procedures. It is also referred to as “soft” transitioning.

Dr. Andreades calls the second box “A Lurking Comorbidity”. If gender dysphoria is not resulting from a thirst for peer favor, then we need to be open to considering more serious problems as the root cause. Possibly, a mental health or personality disorder hides under the cross-gender desire. Autism, depression, and anxiety disorders are commonly such co-occurring concerns, called comorbidities. All of the resources within the scope of this overview advise special care in selecting a therapist to assure yourselves that the primary care is associated with the comorbidity rather than the cross-gender desire.

The remaining three boxes: True Body Alienation, Activism, and Adult Cross-Dressing for Sexual Arousal are all better understood when read in the context of Dr. Andreades’ book. However, we present a very brief explanation here. True Body Alienation refers to a teen who really does experience a singular and internal body distress. This is most likely due to an earlier trauma in life. Dr. Andreades’ statement regarding this category is that the teen needs additional help to reconcile with his body and appreciate his gender, to see it as the beautiful gift God sees. Activism refers to a passion to stand up for a particular ideology. One who fits in the Activism box becomes convinced that the gender binary is harmful to uphold or even believe in. They are mission-oriented and often are supporters of a movement rather than struggling with their own bodies. Adult cross-dressing for arousal is self-explanatory and falls more in the area of strange or even kinky sexual behavior, not the area of gender dysphoria.

This concludes our brief overview of the transgender ideology and the effect it has had on our society and culture and our families. When It Touches Home is a trial for everyone involved. It’s not easy for a parent to help a child or teenager through rapid onset gender dysphoria or more challenging yet, a serious comorbidity connected with the gender dysphoria. Keep your eyes on the 70 to 80 percent natural healing rates quoted earlier.

The resources we have listed can help. They require a lot of reading and listening. They can be well worth the effort if they help the parents stay God-focused and give the parents help in keeping the teens focused on the beauty and naturalness of God’s plan of human sexuality as He designed it.

When studying the resources, an author’s notes at the end of the book can be quite helpful in assisting in serious research.

References

1. ^ Samuel D. Gerguson, Does God Care About Gender Identity, Pg. 59

2. ^ Nancy Pearcey, Love Thy Body, Pg. 79

2. ^ Abigail Shrier, Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters (Regnery, 2020), Pg.119