Same-Sex Attraction
And The Disciple Of Jesus Christ
It’s personal.
About 60 years ago there was a young brother--about 20 years old--who found himself with a personal problem. It was something he felt he could not discuss with anyone, especially with anyone in the church. He did not know where to get help and was afraid of people’s reactions when they found out this “terrible” thing about him. In plain words, he found himself sexually attracted to other males. All his friends were now involved in serious girlfriend relationships. He had tried this, but it did not change his attraction. He felt a fraud and eventually broke up with his girlfriend. That at least freed her to find a boyfriend who was really attracted to her. Finally, when he went to college, he found a few others who understood his problem. In fact, he found a “family” of like-minded guys who he now felt at home with. He was told that for him it was “natural” to watch the guys walk down the street instead of the girls. He was told that he could not change his attraction. That he was a homosexual. To accept this as his identity; to pursue any female sexual relationship would bring nothing but frustration. He must follow what makes him happy and “fulfilled”.
Since that time many things have changed for those who find themselves with same-sex attraction, but basic concepts taught by the gay leadership that same-sex attraction is unalterable, that it’s “natural”, or that it is your basic identity have not changed. These basic “teachings” in the inalterability and basic identity of the homosexual nature have led to other conclusions. Since same-sex attraction is identified as a person’s natural state, then they have civil rights to live as they wish. No therapy for change should be developed or sought. Anyone who rejects these teachings is homophobic and judgmental.
It’s more than personal.
This young brother thought of his same-sex attraction as his own personal “problem”. His decision as to how to act on and live his life in accord with this attraction was his decision alone. After all, it’s his life, right? But is that true? If we have made a commitment to Christ, then how does this affect our understanding of who we are and whether we have the “right” to make decisions concerning our own bodies and our lives? And how does the decision to live a life pursuing homosexual attraction affect our families and the lives of those closest to us? How does it affect our health and what about the possibility of children and future generations? Does everything revolve around the satiation of sexual attraction?
Current Worldviews
Much has happened in the last 60 years concerning worldviews and sexual mores. The sexual revolution and the feminist movement happened in the 1960s. Confining sexual intimacies to married couples is now considered “unhealthy” and rules that limit sexual behaviors are frowned upon. Virginity is no longer respected or desirable. The birth control pill and medicines that treat sexually transmitted diseases have helped to give sexual “freedom” to men and women since they mitigate consequences. In 1973 same-sex attraction was deleted from the official list of mental illnesses according to the psychiatric association in the US. Since then, attitudes towards homosexuality changed from treating homosexual behavior as sin and sometimes as illegal or possibly being an illness to now being completely accepted as normal. In 2015 same-sex marriage was legalized in the US as had been done in many countries beforehand. In many states any efforts to treat same-sex attraction with any kind of therapy was made illegal. Those who opposed homosexual behaviors were considered homophobic and hateful. The consideration of the acceptance of homosexual behaviors within Christian churches brought division. Some Christian churches taught that it was unloving not to fully accept same-sex couples in the church. Others continued to teach that homosexual relationships are sinful and must be abstained from.
The secular worldviews are based on a godless world: there is no purposeful creator intimately involved with his creation. Human feelings become human purpose. Responsibilities to others are based on human desires and what is considered to be “fair”.
Biblical Worldview
God is the source, the center, the creator, the reason, the power, the life, the light, the ultimate beauty, the revelation of love, the Father of all.[1] With purpose[2] He has made us, in His image, male and female.[3] And He wants us to know Him. He has shown Himself, revealed Himself, to us in many ways.[4] He has placed us in His creation with the abilities to hear and perceive and communicate. We can see the intricacies, the beauty, the balance, the diversity of all that he has made both on the earth and in the heavens above.[5] In each and everything there is function, purpose, beauty, and cycle of life.
The whole purpose and glory of God for those made in His image is based on family. Our Father wants us to be His children and part of His family. From the very beginning, created in His image, male and female, God reveals Himself through family. Everyone comes into being, is given life, through a father and a mother. This is the basis for the continuation of life, life that must be nourished and cherished for years through growth and development. Family is the model that God gives us and is one of the ways that God reveals His purpose and character to us. Male and female are in so many ways similar but also in so many ways different. They need to help each other, to communicate constantly, to learn to love each other, to overcome together all the obstacles of life, and all these things that bring struggles also bring great rewards. This life-long marriage of two lives is the training ground for developing all those characteristics that are God’s and that He wants us to learn: love, patience, kindness, faithfulness, unity, and purposefulness. With the blessing of children, we learn of the love of God in experiencing the love that we have for our children, and we are given the opportunity to teach our children from the very first moment the love of God.
In God’s purpose both male and female are needed. With husband and wife working together, partnering in the purpose of God, love is learned, a home is made, new life is conceived and nurtured. Each has their part and their strengths to bring to the relationship. Each also has their weaknesses and inabilities which bring needs to the relationship. The bond between them must be strong and with purpose.
He made us male and female. One is the initiator, the pursuer, the protector, the physically strong. The other is the receiver, conceiver, the nurturer, the physically vulnerable. God also created the desire for each to bond to the other. They fit together. Sexual desire and expression in marriage are given by God to bring together and bond together husband and wife. It expresses the union of two becoming one. And it brings pleasure and joy in its expression.
Sexual attraction and desire is one of the strongest forces in human life. In this strength comes the lifelong bonding of husband and wife and comes, also, the potential for new life. Children and grandchildren that are nurtured in a strong family result from this strong bond. But as with any force, it can and has been misused and abused since the beginning of time.
The purpose of God from the beginning is to bring together as one husband and wife as stated in the Genesis record and quoted by Jesus.[6] It is when people forget or deny God and his purpose that the appetite for the gratification of sexual desire is deified. The purpose becomes the fulfilling of desire whatever form that may take. The gratification of sexual desire becomes the idol. There are many warnings in the Bible about this kind of idolatry that finds expression in immorality, adultery, and homosexuality.[7] None of these behaviors are in the purpose of God. They tear apart families, destroy relationships, and misuse the bodies that God has given us. That’s not what God wants for us. He doesn’t want us to destroy ourselves and those near us with destructive behaviors and desires.
What do we do?
We live in a world where the societal worldviews and Biblical worldviews most times are not in agreement. What do we do? More importantly, when a person is facing a “problem” such as the young brother at the beginning of this writing faced, what do we do? We deeply care about this brother. How can we help? How can we reach out so that the brother knows he’s not alone? Yet can we be fully accepting of homosexual behavior? Or do we withdraw from him with the attitude of “unclean, unclean”? Neither of these actions are loving or caring. To be fully accepting of homosexual behavior does not recognize the seriousness of giving our bodies over to behaviors that can separate us from our God. On the other hand, all of us without Jesus are “unclean”. We cannot stand in condemnation as though we’re any better. So, what do we do? Please see the listed Resources page for help in understanding these issues and in responding to those who are looking for help. Here are some immediate suggestions:
Listen. Really listen. Let the person know that you love him (or her) and care about him.
Work through the situation with him. Ask: “Why not follow a homosexual lifestyle? What are the outcomes, the consequences, of following a homosexual lifestyle? Are there health consequences? Is a celibate life possible? Is it possible that anything will change? What does God want me to do?”
Help him question the societal worldview. Is it really true that same-sex attraction is unalterable for all? Are there ex-gays? Read all the information concerning the actual causes of same-sex attraction. Is it wrong to seek help to change? Has research been done over the years to find healing methods?
No matter what, let him know that you are his friend and care about him.
It’s not just about you.
Our lives and our bodies are not our own. God has made us for his purpose. He has made us sexual beings for his purpose: the union of husband and wife to bond together, to build a home and to possibly bring new life. As followers of our Lord, we sacrifice ourselves and our desires to follow Jesus and work and live within the purpose of God. For each individual that purpose that God has for him or her may not include marriage. It may mean a single, celibate life as it did for Paul the Apostle and Daniel the Prophet. It may mean a childless marriage as it seemed to be for Elizabeth and Zachariah for many years. But it is always within the purpose of God and not based simply on human feelings or desires.
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So, glorify God in your body. – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 RSV
“Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God's place in your hearts.”
— 1 John 5:21 (NIV)
Navigating Faith and Sexuality.
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2- Questioning Assumptions
Examining beliefs and consequences of same-sex attraction claims.
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3- Risks and Consequences
Understanding the health and societal impacts of same-sex behavior.
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4- Homosexuality in the Bible
An in-depth analysis of Biblical verses concerning homosexual behaviors.
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Intro to Same-Sex Attraction
Exploring biblical teachings, cultural shifts, and personal struggles.
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Related Content & Resources
A compilation of researched books, podcasts, videos, and other literature that may be helpful or edifying, regarding what God tells us about homosexuality and same sex attraction.